You may have noticed (at least I hope
you have) that I try and make my blog, Prescription Fiction a very light
hearted, non-confrontational, comfortable place for all you lovely chaps to
explore. I try my best to use non-offensive language, a fairly positive tone
and just to be double sure that I come across as friendly to you lot I grin
constantly while writing these blogs (actually, I might stop that, my face is
starting to hurt). Now, all this fluffy, goodness-and-light pleasantry business
may seem just fine and dandy to you, however being nice in the book blogging
industry (If I call it an industry I sound way more professional) has one fatal
flaw – I cannot write a bad review.
I have tried. I have sat down, boring
book in hand, scowl firmly set upon my face, ready to write some hard-hitting,
brutally- honest blog posts. But it’s as if as soon as my fingers hit the
keyboard all that anger just slips away and my head is crammed full of
butterflies, rainbows and such a beautiful happiness that I simply cannot type
a single tainted word. It sucks.
So far, on this blog, I have not
uttered a single sour word towards any book at all. I have pointed out flaws,
yes, but more by way of creative criticism, two stars and a wish if you don’t
mind reverting to primary school terms. I have avoided the bad review at all
costs. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I am a reading saint, immune to all
negative bookish thoughts, enjoying every book presented to me, and it isn’t as
I have been lying to you, swearing to you that the worst books are the best,
tricking you into a day or two of bash-your-brain out monotony. No, I have
simply avoided the bad review entirely. Making a conscious decision not to
write about the books I don’t like. And why I hear you ask curiously through
your computer screens, well, let me tell you.
Guilt. Guilt is what stops me from
tearing a book to shreds for all to see. I get that funny little knot in my
tummy just thinking mean thoughts about my book. I would like to be honest with
you, telling you about why I hated that love triangle or why the author’s
sentence structure made me what to rip off my own eyebrows, but every time I
hover my hands by the computer, ready to tell you what any professional book
critic would, I imagine being the author of that book and finding a review like
that.
Every book you read has an author.
Someone who sat for months, sometimes years behind a keyboard, dreaming up a
world and spilling every ounce of literary brilliance they possess into the
pages of a book. I have such a major attachment to some books, I will happily
fight their corner in any way I can – if that’s me, I can’t even begin to
imagine how strong a bond an author must have with their own book. How must
they feel when they read a harsh review? We’re practically attacking their
children! I cannot bear to be
responsible for that.
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| How could I ever be mean to Moran :'c |
That’s, not to say, however, that I
have a problem with others who are bold enough to publish bad reviews, quite
the opposite actually. I read bad reviews regularly, they’re juicy and
interesting, and if it’s a book I did happen to like, I like to hear the
different perspective. I respect the skill in being able to politely tell your
audience that you disliked a book.
However, there are
times when that can go too far. I hate to see bloggers violently destroying a
book without reason, writing only for the purposes of an interesting post, as
opposed to informing others or expressing an opinion. I cringe when I see
bloggers bite and snap over some poor guy’s debut novel on the basis that they
‘just didn’t like the book’. That is not a reason that is an opinion. If you
really must be so harsh and aggressive about a book, I want you to give at
least one good valid reason as to why, otherwise, you’re simply being mean. Not
cool.
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| I could turn John Green into this... |
I’m scared that if I write a bad review, this will be the case. All of
this. I will write out all my negativity, hit publish and you guys will all
read it and think I’m being terribly rude and mean and nasty! You will press
un-follow and spread the world of my disgusting, evil character. I will never
blog again. What’s more, the author of that book will somehow stumble upon my
post. They will read my words with a look of misery on their face, one sad tear
rolling down their cheek as they realise that they have failed as an author.
They decide never to write again. With one post I will have kicked myself out
of the blogging world, ruined someone’s life and looked like a prat all at the
same time. Horrific, right? In my mind, this is the only outcome of writing a
bad review and it terrifies me.
However, I do want to be the best blogger I could possibly
be. I want to be able to talk about some of the books I didn’t like, start
discussions, find out if you guys feel the same. So I write to you all today,
looking for advice. I want to know! Do you guys want bad reviews? Do they make
you cringe? Laugh? Do you like them? Do you read them? Tell me down in the
comments, please! Because, honestly, I’m horrifically bad at the bad review.
