I would like to think that ‘Prescription Fiction’ is a very
friendly blog. I am extremely open to all your comments, tweets and suggestions
and in fact encourage them! I am more than happy to answer almost any question
or query that you may have and I would love to think of my blog as a small
community. However, as a particularly passionate breed of bookworm, one of the
worst questions anyone could ever ask me is this:
“What is
your favourite book?”
With those five simple words, every
book I have ever read will fall out of my head and into a puddle around my
feet. I will squirm and wriggle and say ‘Um…’ a lot, before finally shuffling
away with an extremely anti-climactic ‘I don’t know’.
The pressure of that question is too
much to bear. The asker will always stare at you with a certain amount of
expectation in their eyes, as if whatever it is that bursts out of your mouth
next will determine their opinion of you for many years to come. If I say
something like ‘The Lord of the Flies’ then they will probably give me an
impressed nod and invite me to eat lunch with them, however, if I panic and say
‘Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging’ (I do love that book) then they will
probably wrinkle their nose in disgust before exiling me from their life
entirely. Probably.
I don’t see why I should have to
choose a favourite book at all. I simply cannot commit to one when there is so
much choice out there. It is simply ridiculous that I should have to let you make
a snap decision about me based on whether I prefer Classics or Sci-Fi; romance
or horror; ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ or ‘Winnie the Pooh’. I am not married
to a single novel; I am having off-again, on-again affairs with more than
twelve at once.
My favourite book can be different
every single day of the week. It entirely depends on what kind of mood I’m in.
If I’m in quite an emotional mood, I’ll probably name ‘Anna and the French
Kiss’ as my favourite and start endlessly chattering about boarding school in
Paris. If I want to feel cool and mysterious, I might tell you that I love the
symbolism in ‘The Catcher in the Rye'. If on a particularly reminiscent
Tuesday, I am overtaken by nostalgia, I will tearfully tell you all about my
mother’s beaten old copy of ‘Nancy and Plum’ that she was given in Sunday
school as a child and ignore your confused expression when you don’t know what
the hell I’m on about.
In reality though, none of these
books are my favourite. Or maybe they all are? I don’t really know and I don’t
really think I should have to. When you think of me, I don’t want you to think
of a miniscule 300 pages – I want you to think of an entire library!
This is why I think that in the UK
we should have a law that prohibits everyone from ever asking that dreaded
question. I want David Cameron and stand up in the House of Commons and say
that if one wants to enquire about another person’s taste in reading, then we
must say ‘So what kinda books are you into, chum?’ or something of that
variety. I guarantee you that by doing
this everyone in the UK will probably be invited to 70% more sleepovers. Probably.
No more shall we have to stand
sweating in front of a new acquaintance, wracking our brains for that one
answer that will lead to a strong and beautiful friendship. No more will we
fail to come up with that answer and instead try to avoid that person for the
next month out of embarrassment. No more shall we have to run into them at our
friend Keith’s party and awkwardly stand making our ridiculous excuses! No
more, I say, no more!
I do not have a favourite book. I
have commitment issues.
Do you know your favourite book? Am I the only one with this issue?! Tell me down in the comments, I'd love to know!
